me by ashley anthony; one of the sweetest, coolest chicks i’ve met.
Love this… I want to cut my hair that short
but the fact is i fell in love with you and only you… and you’ve betrayed that love that i was ready to give to you whole-heartedly…
i couldn’t tell you how much it hurts or how shallow my heart has become, because you’re no longer actually in my life…
and that hurts worst of all…
my soul has become cold and hard… no longer moving freely and warm…
you were the reason i woke up every morning with a smile, because i looked forward to talking to you, to hearing about your day, to listening to a new song you thought i’d like… i wanted you as you were… that’s all.
when i told you how i felt, i honestly knew how it would turn out. i knew that you telling me you liked me too for some time was too good to be true… it wasn’t everything i ever dreamed it would be… this is not how i’m supposed to be feeling right now…
but that’s life. it’s full of disappointments and turmoil… it’s full of the realizations that you’re not meant to have what you want most of all.
what i want most of all is you. truly, honestly, deeply, and completely you. that’s it. but i can’t have you. not even a part of you. and… it… it’s killing me. it honestly is killing me. and i’m not being dramatic… i’m not saying this to get something out of it… this is my heart… on paper. on the internet, for all to see… this is me pouring my heart out to you and you won’t even see it… you won’t even react to this… you won’t even care enough to ask me if it’s about you… you won’t even want to talk it out…
you won’t even talk to me. you don’t care. or at least you won’t even show it.
my heart cries out and you’re not there to console it like you used to.
living without you in my life… that’s…
ailey stares at him with warm eyes and a smile. he’s sleeping. she touches his top lip with her index finger, ever so gently. he doesn’t move. she traces the boundaries of his lips, trying not to jar him awake. he sighs, but doesn’t open his eyes. she removes her hand and leans in, careful not to stir the bed. her kiss, delicate, but sweet is what moves him to open his eyes. when he does, all he sees is her face. smiling. her hair shining in the new sunlight streaming in from the upper window. she’s wearing her glasses, yet he can see her sharp greenish-blue eyes peering back at him. is that longing he sees? or is it pure love? he blinks, but quickly looks back at her, trying not to lose her image. “it’s time to wake up, darling,” she says. then suddenly, he opens his eyes and sees an empty room, with an even emptier bed.
"it’s like she’s really there, doc. i see her, just as i see you now, but i don’t want it to go away," bren recounts to his therapist, "we’re not as it was, it’s different. we’re married in these dreams and it’s always the same. she’s waking me up every morning, right on time, so i can get up and get ready for work. i never set my alarm anymore. she never fails."
your face it dances and it haunts me
your laughter’s still ringing in my ears
i still find pieces of your presence here
even, even after all these years
full day = tired… i’m ready for bed…
we dance to the rhythm of our breathing
in silence, our voices are heard
never wondering about the moment
when we finally say the words
flying through the clouds up high
in this beautiful dream i’ll stay
always taking my hand in yours
you finally lean in and take me away